Sunday, December 11, 2016 at 5:05 am
What is the best way to find a life partner?
We face so many challenges in life but very few have consequences that are as lasting as our choice of a lifelong partner.
In my experience, I fared well while I was familiar with the circumstances that framed my candidate’s world view. But, when I sought out something different, I disregarded warning signs as cultural differences. I behaved like the ER doctor who promises a desperate mother that her child will make a full recovery, assuming that my efforts and determination alone would eventually make ‘happily ever after’ our reality.
Now, as my children are entering adulthood, I reflect on my experience and wonder if there is any way to know that love will withstand the test of time. I thought that I had found it. I believed it when I said, “no matter what happens, we can work it out;” but theory and practice are two very different paths.
For those of you who are still searching, I urge you to study the context of your candidates’ upbringing. Who do they admire and why? How do their families resolve conflicts? What motivates them? What do each of you consider acceptable or unacceptable traits? How different are your ‘ideal’ relationships? There are many questions that must be addressed to avoid a lifetime of disappointment.
You never want to be the one saying, “I’m sorry. We did everything we could…”